Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old. — John Green Copy Share Image
Half-drunk on well-creamed gas station coffee and the exhilarating loneliness of a freeway in nighttime... — John Green Copy Share Image
“Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But… — John Green Copy Share Image
“No, I love you. Not like a sister loves a brother or like a friend loves a friend. I love you like… — John Green Copy Share Image
Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us… — John Green Copy Share Image
Yeah, so if that guy can make it in drunk, surely we can make it in sober. I mean, we’re ninjas.' 'Well,… — John Green Copy Share Image
We left. We did not say: Don't drive, You're drunk. We did not say: We aren't letting you in that car when… — John Green Copy Share Image
By far the best cure for hangovers is not drinking excessively the night before.This cure has a 100% success rate, and as… — John Green Copy Share Image
“Ben, there are more important things going on,” I answered. “DESIGNATED DRIVER!” “What?” “You’re my designated driver! Yes! You are so designated!… — John Green Copy Share Image
Issac:"I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters." Computer: "I don't understand-" Issac: "Me neither. Pause — John Green Copy Share
She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." -… — John Green Copy Share
Neither novels or their readers benefit from any attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. Such efforts attack the very idea… — John Green Copy Share
“Traffic's not too bad on Sheridan, and I'm cornering the car like it's the Indy 500, and we're listening to my favorite NMH song,… — John Green Copy Share
So I was ugly. I was never fat, really, and I never wore headgear or had zits or anything. But I was ugly. I… — John Green Copy Share
“said to him quietly, as if I couldn’t hear or something. Dad was about to respond but I interrupted.” — John Green Copy Share
“He was hot. A nonhotboy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a… — John Green Copy Share
I think if you keep the box closed long enough you do kill the cat, actually. — John Green Copy Share
Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it… — John Green Copy Share
