If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There's a test they can do to determine a baby's gender ahead of time; I think they insert a tiny photo of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My point here, young couples, is that baby-having is extremely serious business, and you probably don't have the vaguest idea what you're… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Nobody is excused from the excellence trend. Babies are not excused. Starting right after they get out of the womb, modern babies… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it… — Dave Barry Copy Share
Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress. — Dave Barry Copy Share
