Time Quotes by Dave Barry

“They feed you, like, eight times a day, which is why cruise people always look like hairless water buffalo wearing sneakers.”

— Dave Barry

Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of…

— Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…

— Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

— Dave Barry

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

— Dave Barry

Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.

— Dave Barry

As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

— Dave Barry

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.

— Dave Barry

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain…

— Dave Barry

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an…

— Dave Barry

And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that,…

— Dave Barry

There's a test they can do to determine a baby's gender ahead of time; I think they insert a tiny photo of…

— Dave Barry

Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a…

— Dave Barry

Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do…

— Dave Barry

“There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact…

— Dave Barry

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel…

— Dave Barry

I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than…

— Dave Barry

If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created…

— Dave Barry

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the…

— Dave Barry

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same…

— Dave Barry

At the time, we were mad at Moammar Gadhafi, which resulted in us bombing all over Libya and killing a bunch of…

— Dave Barry

Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time…

— Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…

— Dave Barry

I love the resource of the Internet. I use it all the time. Anything I'm writing - for example, if I'm writing…

— Dave Barry

Now, once again, we find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This time, are we going to learn from…

— Dave Barry

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

— Dave Barry

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is…

— Dave Barry

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your…

— Dave Barry

The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing…

— Dave Barry

Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals,…

— Dave Barry

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -…

— Dave Barry

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made…

— Dave Barry

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and…

— Dave Barry

I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of…

— Dave Barry

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By…

— Dave Barry

I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European…

— Dave Barry

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber…

— Dave Barry

My son, Rob…said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, "if it's such a poor gift that I don't…

— Dave Barry

'I'm sorry,' guys are always telling women, 'but I'm just not ready to make a commitment.' Guys are in a permanent state…

— Dave Barry

I have read that, on the average, the Japanese are getting taller, but at the moment they seem to be about the…

— Dave Barry