Zero-punctuation Quote by Yahtzee Croshaw

“A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended, because if you just keep going eventually your…

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“The Necromancer's Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan.”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

For me, Modern Warfare 3 's plot makes its signature turn around the bend when Russia invades Europe. As in, all of it. Simultaneously.…

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“My non American viewers. Who understand that the world does not consist solely of a single nation sailing across an infinite sea of migrant…

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers.”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is long division”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“I realized that the job of a hero is not to save the galaxy, or rescue princesses, or slay all the dragons. That may…

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“Horrors from beyond the veil of time and space are coming to eat us so shut up, sounds like a pretty good draw card…

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“I'd sometimes pictured myself bravely sacrificing my life to save another, but my preference had always been that it be someone I actually liked.”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“What were they going to do after killing the president, declare themselves king?”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

Reality is a cruel and unintuitive place with frustrating gameplay mechanics. (Press X to thanklessly toil your life away)

— Yahtzee Croshaw