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Common ground Quote by Wendell Berry

“Marriage, in what is evidently its most popular version, is now on the one hand an intimate 'relationship' involving (ideally) two successful careerists in the same bed, and on the other hand a sort of private political system in which rights and interests must be constantly asserted and defended…” quote by Wendell Berry
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““Marriage, in what is evidently its most popular version, is now on the one hand an intimate 'relationship' involving (ideally) two successful careerists in the same bed, and on the other hand a sort of private political system in which rights and interests must be constantly asserted and defended. Marriage, in other words, has now taken the form of divorce: a prolonged and impassioned negotiation as to how things shall be divided. During their understandably temporary association, the 'married' couple will typically consume a large quantity of merchandise and a large portion of each other. The modern household is the place where the consumptive couple do their consuming. Nothing productive is done there. Such work as is done there is done at the expense of the resident couple or family, and to the profit of suppliers of energy and household technology. For entertainment, the inmates consume television or purchase other consumable diversion elsewhere. There are, however, still some married couples who understand themselves as belonging to their marriage, to each other, and to their children. What they have they have in common, and so, to them, helping each other does not seem merely to damage their ability to compete against each other. To them, 'mine' is not so powerful or necessary a pronoun as 'ours.' This sort of marriage usually has at its heart a household that is to some extent productive. The couple, that is, makes around itself a household economy that involves the work of both wife and husband, that gives them a measure of economic independence and self-employment, a measure of freedom, as well as a common ground and a common satisfaction. (From "Feminism, the Body, and the Machine")””

Wendell Berry

About This Quote

Source Book: Feminism, the Body, and the Machine by Wendell Berry, 1975

Marriage is portrayed as a competitive, consumptive partnership that often mirrors divorce, yet some couples achieve a collaborative, productive household based on shared ownership and mutual support.

In simple terms: Marriage can be either a rivalry or a partnership.

Key Takeaway

Foster shared responsibility and joint purpose.

Themes

relationships economics gender roles consumerism family dynamics

Mood

reflective critical hopeful

Type

analytical philosophical sociological

When to use this quote

  • building a joint household
  • balancing career and home
  • creating shared economic independence
  • reducing consumer waste
  • cultivating cooperative parenting

Key Concepts

mutual interdependence household economy collective identity

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can couples shift from “mine” to “ours” in daily decisions?
  • What structures support a productive household economy?
A Different Perspective

Ideal cooperative marriages are rare and require conscious effort against societal pressures toward individualism.

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