"First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second……" — W.C. Fields

"First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks."

— W.C. Fields

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188 Quotes by W.C. Fields

W.C. Fields has 188 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It…
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious…
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon…
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners…
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy…
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and…
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

See all 188 quotes by W.C. Fields »

More First Prize Quotes

This quote is filed under First Prize Quotes, one of 21 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

We won a contest at the teen fair in Vancouver and the first prize was a recording contract and we… — Tommy Chong
One day I gave Clifford a bath. And I combed his hair and took hom to the dog show. I'd… — Unknown Author
In racing, there is no question who is best - the first one to cross the finish line wins first… — Mario Andretti
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize. — Rodney Dangerfield
To be born English is to win first prize in the lottery of life. — Cecil Rhodes
I wrote my first short story for a competition and won second prize. Another competition came up and I won… — Ian Rankin
I think everyone can recognize the one-upmanship and the competition that go on wherever you are, especially among groups where… — Rachel Johnson
Presenting statues of honor to reporters for covering an earthquake is like presenting a first prize to a doctor for… — Phil Donahue
I can't read music. Instead, I'd do stuff inside the piano, do harmonics and all kinds of crazy things. They… — Eddie Van Halen
Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life. — Cecil Rhodes
As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a… — David Mamet
Something he knew he had missed: the flower of life. But he thought of it now as a thing so… — Edith Wharton

See all 21 First Prize Quotes »