Quote by Stephen Adly Guirgis Download Open image ““JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: What’s your name, Bailiff?! BAILIFF: Julius of Outer Mongolia.”” — Stephen Adly Guirgis ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“BAILIFF (cautiously): Sir, his name’s El-Fayoumy. JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: What? BAILIFF: You called him El-Fajita. JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: Just gimme my glasses! BAILIFF: You’re wearing them, sir.” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share
“CUNNINGHAM: Your Honor, Defense reconjures Satan to the stand. JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: Lou, you can come in now … Bailiff! Go fetch him! Go fetch… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: Good. Now, when I come to court dressed as Ethel Merman in a one-piece bathing suit, that’ll be my signal to you… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“EL-FAYOUMY: May I approach you? JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: The bench, not me!” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“JUDGE LITTLEFIELD (rising): Right … Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, at this time, I must excuse myself from these proceedings until such time as said witness has concluded testimony. Before his ascension into the Lap of the Lord, Caiaphas the Elder and I were partners in a successful chain of Kosher Pizza Parlors in East Purgatory—For that reason, at… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share
“JUDGE LITTLEFIELD (re: the writ): Cunningham, I do not like it when lawyers go over my head. CUNNINGHAM: You gave me no choice. EL-FAYOUMY: Objection, Your Honor!!! As human beings, we always have choice! Motion to strike! JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: Mr. El-Fajita, you are aware that the trial hasn’t actually begun yet, right?” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share
“The judge speaks in the name of justice; the priest speaks in the name of pity, which is nothing but a more lofty justice.” — Victor Hugo Copy Share Image
“I look at the others, simpering courtiers and visiting dignitaries, all unsuspecting of what is to come. A merciful man should spare them, but… — A.F. Stewart Copy Share Image
“He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us!” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think anything that anyone writes thats any good is going to have a lot of autobiography. — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“JUDGE LITTLEFIELD (re: the writ): Cunningham, I do not like it when lawyers go over my head. CUNNINGHAM: You gave me no choice. EL-FAYOUMY:… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“Oh, just some crap about the essential paradox of man: How we refuse to juxtapose the absolute to the relative, and some other some-such… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“What is it that we need to overcome in order to truly be “Ourselves”?” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“I do know that I am in continuous need of the Spiritual and that I usually go to great lengths to avoid it.” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: Good. Now, when I come to court dressed as Ethel Merman in a one-piece bathing suit, that’ll be my signal to you… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
I had just done something in TV, but my real love is theater. I had won this award and I was up at Yale,… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“CUNNINGHAM:—Your Honor, I cite the Beatitudes, and Kierkegaard. I cite Christ on the Cross! JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: I cite my foot in your ass, Cunningham!” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
I've lived with women, loved women, lost women. They've loved me, lost me, whatever. — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“MARY MAGDALENE: I also knew Judas Iscariot very well. SAINT MONICA: Gangsta!” — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
“Do you know who W.H. Auden was, Mr. Iscariot? W.H. Auden was a poet who once said, “God may reduce you on Judgement Day… — Stephen Adly Guirgis Copy Share Image
