Accepted Quote by Sheila Heen
“We each have two human needs: To learn and grow & to be respected, accepted and loved the way you are. Even though feedback facilitates learning and growth, it conflicts with our need to feel respected. This is a key reason we resist feedback.”
About This Quote
Source Book: Thanks for the Feedback, Sheila Heen & Douglas Stone, 2014
People need both growth through learning and emotional acceptance; feedback can clash with the desire for respect, leading to resistance.
In simple terms: We want to learn and feel loved; feedback can feel threatening to our self‑esteem.
Key Takeaway
Recognize feedback’s dual impact and address respect needs when giving it.
Themes
psychology
communication
personal development
Mood
thoughtful
supportive
Type
advisory
motivational
When to use this quote
- performance reviews
- coaching sessions
- team meetings
- personal relationships
- educational settings
Key Concepts
feedback dynamics
self‑esteem
motivation
relationship management
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you give feedback that honors the recipient’s need for respect?
- What strategies help you receive feedback without feeling threatened?
A Different Perspective
Feedback may be perceived as criticism, reducing openness.
![“We have reached a situation where a theory has been accepted as fact by some, and possible contrary evidence is shunted aside. [This is] mythology rather than science.” quote by Robert Shapiro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c31/robert-shapiro-26969_accepted_we-have-reached-a-situation-where-a-theo_19120.jpg)
