Every woman Quote by Sandra Lee Bartky
““Why isn't every woman a feminist? Feminism tells a tale of female injury, but the average woman in heterosexual intimacy knows that men are injured too, as indeed they are. She may be willing to grant, this average woman, that men in general have more power than women in general. This undoubted fact is merely a fact; it is abstract , while the man of flesh and blood who stands before her is concrete : His hurts are real, his fears palpable. And like those heroic doctors on the late show who work tirelessly through the epidemic even though they may be fainting from fatigue, the woman in intimacy may set her own needs to one side in order better to attend to his. She does this not because she is "chauvinized" or has "false consciousness," but because this is what the work requires . Indeed, she may even excuse the man's abuse of her, having glimpsed the great reservoir of pain and rage from which it issues. Here is a further gloss on the ethical disempowerment attendant upon women's caregiving: in such a situation, a woman may be tempted to collude in her own ill-treatment.””
About This Quote
Source Essay: Feminist Theory, Sandra Lee Bartky, 1990
The passage argues that women often prioritize men's suffering over their own due to societal expectations and caregiving roles, which can perpetuate their own disempowerment.
In simple terms: Women may put men's needs first, hurting themselves.
Recognize and balance mutual needs in relationships.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- intimate relationships
- therapy sessions
- activism workshops
- support groups
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How can women assert their own needs without guilt?
- What societal changes would support equitable caregiving?
It overlooks structural inequalities that limit women's agency.