Courtship Quote by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos
“Either you have a rival or you don't. If you have one, you must please in order to be preferred to him, and if you don't you must still please-in order to avoid having one.”
About This Quote
Source Novel: Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, 1782
People constantly seek approval, whether from an existing rival or to prevent one from appearing, driving social competition.
In simple terms: We always try to please others to avoid or outdo rivals.
Key Takeaway
Be aware of approval‑seeking motives.
Themes
social dynamics
competition
approval
relationships
Mood
anxious
reflective
Type
observational
philosophical
When to use this quote
- workplace politics
- dating
- friendship
- leadership
Key Concepts
status anxiety
social comparison
Questions to Reflect On
- Do you chase approval or act authentically?
- How does rivalry shape your behavior?
A Different Perspective
Focusing on others' opinions can erode authenticity.
