Quote by Phil Harris

Is the cop here for me or him?

— Huey Freeman

The next day, I got a phone call from him and he told me to come and read for a movie called New Jack…

— Ice T

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I…

— Steven Wright

When he realized who he'd pulled over, the policeman shook his head in disbelief. He told me of all people I should know better.…

— Dennis Franz

The cop gets to the window and says the same thing that they all say, right, 'Do you know why I stopped you?' It…

— Gabriel Iglesias

Police, open up! No, youre gonna yell at me .__.

— Anonymous

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

— Rodney Dangerfield

“You should have told him you were a cop too,” said Fat Charlie. “He might have taken you more seriously.” “I don’t think it…

— Neil Gaiman

“He said, “You’re a little lax on that rake.” I tried to ignore him, and he said, “You hear what I said, boy?” I…

— Charles Brandt

If you and I took a walk down a shopping street in Jo'burg or Cape Town or London, we see two guys looking in…

— Peter James

It's funny how you bluffin them suckers. Only time S.P. is with the cops is in cuffs muh'fuckers and you should listen up the…

— D Block

See, I don't give a fuck, that's the problem I see a motherfuckin cop I don't dodge him.

— NWA