"My favourite riposte to a heckle is to……" — Paul Merton
"My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'"
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Paul Merton
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27 Quotes by Paul Merton
Paul Merton has 27 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I…
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I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.
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I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.
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And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.
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I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.
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I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and…
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I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.
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I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity…
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I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all…
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In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.
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It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a…
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I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private…
See all 27 quotes by Paul Merton »
More Alley Quotes
This quote is filed under Alley Quotes,
one of 151 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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These people live again in print as intensely as when their images were captured on old dry plates of sixty…
— Ansel Adams
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I had really bad obsessive-compulsive disorder. At its worst, I was compelled to leave my house at three o'clock in…
— Fiona Apple
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Wide open and unguarded stand our gates And through them presses a wild motley throng Men from the Volga and…
— Thomas Bailey Aldrich
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If you can't beat 'em in the alley, you can't beat 'em on the ice.
— Conn Smythe
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In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for…
— Dave Barry
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The next time you find yourself alone in a dark alley facing the undeniables of life, don't cover them with…
— Max Lucado
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Gun control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is…
— L. Neil Smith
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Gun Control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is…
— Heinrich Himmler
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If me and King Kong went into an alley, only one of us would come out. And it wouldn't be…
— Lyle Alzado
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Back then, the business depended on bohemians. ... They needed Kristofferson and Roger Miller ..It was the tail end of…
— Steve Earle
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The words to country songs are very earthy like the blues. They're not as dressed up and the people are…
— Ray Charles
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And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
— Woody Harrelson
See all 151 Alley Quotes »