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Arseholes Quote by Nick Hornby

“Did I do and say these things? Yes, I did. Are there any mitigating circumstances? Not really, unless any circumstances {in other words, context) can be regarded as mitigating. And before you judge, although you have probably already done so, go away and write down the four worst things you have…” quote by Nick Hornby
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“Did I do and say these things? Yes, I did. Are there any mitigating circumstances? Not really, unless any circumstances {in other words, context) can be regarded as mitigating. And before you judge, although you have probably already done so, go away and write down the four worst things you have done to a partner, even if - especially if - your partner doesn't know about them. Don't dress things up, or try to explain them; just write them down, in a list, in the plainest language possible. Finished? Ok, so who's the arsehole now?”

Nick Hornby

About This Quote

Source Novel: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, 1995

The passage urges honest self‑reflection on past wrongs toward a partner, stripping away excuses and confronting personal failings directly.

In simple terms: Face your faults openly and list them plainly.

Key Takeaway

Accept responsibility and stop rationalizing.

Themes

self‑accountability relationships honesty

Mood

reflective serious

Type

advice self‑help

When to use this quote

  • relationship counseling
  • personal journaling
  • therapy sessions
  • conflict mediation

Key Concepts

psychology personal growth conflict resolution

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can honest confession improve intimacy?
  • What prevents you from acknowledging your faults?
A Different Perspective

It may be painful and could damage trust if not handled sensitively.

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