““I was told that even if I had years of sobriety, I would always be an addict, and I believed it. Since my identity was that of an addict, didn’t that mean abstinence from drugs was contrary to my identity and doing drugs was in alignment with it? This confused me because if I believed this philosophy, it meant I would never heal from my disease; I would only go into remission. It also meant that the harder I tried to abstain from drugs, the more I was fighting against who I really was.””