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Fear Quote by Marilyn French

“Fear and desire for pleasure. Aggressiveness comes out of fear, predominantly, and sexuality predominantly out of the other. But they mix in the middle. Anyway, both of these impulses can destroy order, which comes out of both drives, and which is another human need I haven't yet fit into my…” quote by Marilyn French
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““Fear and desire for pleasure. Aggressiveness comes out of fear, predominantly, and sexuality predominantly out of the other. But they mix in the middle. Anyway, both of these impulses can destroy order, which comes out of both drives, and which is another human need I haven't yet fit into my scheme. So both have to be controlled. But in fact, despite religious commands to the contrary, aggressiveness has never really been condemned. It's been exalted, from the Bible through Homer and Virgil right down to Humbert Hemingway. Have you ever heard of a John Wayne movie being censored? did you ever see them take war books off the bookstands? They leave the genitals off Barbie and Ken, but they manufacture every kind of war toy. Because sex is more threatening to us than aggression. There have been strict rules about sex since the beginning of written rules, and even before, if we can believe myth. I think that's because it's in sex that men feel most vulnerable. In war they can hype themselves up, or they have a weapon. Sex means being literally naked and exposing your feelings. And that's more terrifying to most men than the risk of dying while fighting a bear or a soldier. Look at the rules! You can have sex if you're married, and you have to marry a person of the opposite gender, the same color and religion, an age close to your own, of the right social and economic background, even the right height, for God's sake, or else everybody gets up in arms, they disinherit you or threaten not to come to the wedding or they make nasty cracks behind your back. Or worse, if you cross color or gender lines. And once you're married, you're supposed to do only certain things when you make love: the others all have nasty names. When after all, sex itself, in itself, is harmless, and aggression is harmful. Sex never hurt anyone.””

Marilyn French

About This Quote

The passage argues that aggression is socially valorized while sexuality is heavily regulated because sex exposes vulnerability, whereas aggression offers a controlled outlet for fear and desire.

In simple terms: Aggression praised, sex restricted due to vulnerability.

Key Takeaway

Societal double standards on aggression vs. sex.

Themes

Power dynamics Gender norms Cultural conditioning Fear and desire Control mechanisms

Mood

Reflective Critical Provocative

Type

Philosophical Sociological

When to use this quote

  • Analyzing media censorship
  • Discussing gendered expectations
  • Examining historical sexual taboos
  • Debating war glorification
  • Exploring personal vulnerability

Key Concepts

Masculine identity Social hierarchy Moral hypocrisy Psychological vulnerability

Practical Applications

  • Critique of cultural narratives
  • Design of balanced gender policies

Questions to Reflect On

  • How do cultural narratives shape our perception of aggression and sexuality?
  • What would a society look like if both impulses were equally regulated?
A Different Perspective

Some argue aggression also harms societies, not just sex, challenging the notion that only aggression is dangerous.

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