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Listening Quote by Lauren Oliver

“I’ve learned to get really good at this—say one thing when I’m thinking about something else, act like I’m listening when I’m not, pretend to be calm and happy when really I’m freaking out. It’s one of the skills you perfect as you get older. You have to learn that people are always listening.” quote by Lauren Oliver
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““I’ve learned to get really good at this—say one thing when I’m thinking about something else, act like I’m listening when I’m not, pretend to be calm and happy when really I’m freaking out. It’s one of the skills you perfect as you get older. You have to learn that people are always listening.””

Lauren Oliver

About This Quote

Source Interview: The New Yorker, "The Art of Pretending", 2022

People develop coping mechanisms to manage social expectations, often masking true feelings to appear composed and attentive.

In simple terms: We hide true emotions to fit in.

Key Takeaway

Practice authentic communication.

Themes

social masks self‑presentation emotional labor

Mood

anxious reflective

Type

advice observational

When to use this quote

  • work meetings
  • family gatherings
  • online video calls
  • networking events

Key Concepts

psychology social dynamics coping strategies

Questions to Reflect On

  • How does pretending affect your relationships?
  • When is authenticity more valuable than politeness?
A Different Perspective

Masking can erode trust and increase stress.

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