“This is hard for me but here it goes. My name is Kaile Stewart, and this is who I am, can you handle it? At the age of five, I was being raped, until I was nine. At the same time, I found out my uncle had died. I thought it was because of me, I started cutting when I was eleven because of him being dead, my rape, and being bullied. My mom never believed me, and to top that my family hated me. Then when I was eleven my older brother melested me. My mom and her boyfriend, who raped me, had always beaten me because I was 'bad' as they put it. But I didn't know any better. To this day, I'm still a cutter, I still fight with my mom, even though I'm not living with her anymore. As the days go by, I wonder who am I, I mean, who am I really? Am I that girl who keeps her head down, not being able to look up afraid someone will make fun of her? I always wonder, why not just do it, kill myself I mean? People don't care about me anyways, so why not? Maybe I'm scared, maybe becausew I don't want them to win! But as I write this, I keep wondering, why not just end it now, nobody understands me or anything. Nobody will ever understand me. At the time of the rape, I let him do it, I thought it was normal, what do you espect from a little five year old? They don't know anythiong really. When my uncle had died, I remimber me crying, after that I wished I could take his place, I still do wish it but I haven't done anything about it, yet, anyways. It was my fault I was raped, I knew that for a fact, cuz I'm the one who let it happened. But I wish I could just make every thing go away from my past, the rape, the abuse, the death of my uncle.Everything in between.”
