Cynicism Quote by Jane Lotter
““I take in his smooth cheeks, his rough chin and jaw, the developing wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. 'We fall in love with somebody who maybe seems like a bad match,' Tully says, 'and our friends run around saying 'What does he see in her?' What he sees in her is what's hidden from everyone else. He's fallen in love with something invisible.' 'Or possibly he's made a common mistake,' I say, gazing at Tully. 'He was needy. He fell for outward appearances. He projected onto this person whatever it was he'd always longed for in a relationship, whatever he hungered for in life. He fell in love with the idea of love.' 'That's a pretty cynical point of view,' Tully says.””
About This Quote
Source Novel: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, 1991
Love often blinds us to reality, causing us to idealize partners based on hidden desires rather than true compatibility.
In simple terms: We fall for an ideal, not the person.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and love love versus love.
Themes
love
idealization
perception
relationships
self-awareness
Mood
melancholic
reflective
Type
literary
dialogue
When to use this quote
- dating
- marriage counseling
- self-reflection
- friend advice
Key Concepts
projection
ideal love
psychology
Questions to Reflect On
- What hidden need drives your attraction?
- How can you see beyond the ideal?
A Different Perspective
Idealization can lead to disappointment when reality emerges.
![“It might interest you to know," Tully says, "that there's a reason people build miniatures. Doesn't matter if it's guys laying out model railroads or women decorating dollhouses. It's about control. It's about reinventing reality." [...] "Some people get a lot of satisfaction in creating a little…” quote by Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c55/jane-lotter-39539_control_it-might-interest-you-to-know-tully-says_69440.jpg)
![“Tully starts in again. 'See, the hidden value can go way deeper than sentimental attachment. Sometimes you feel it down to your soul. Like maybe you're the one person who appreciates a work of art that everybody else hates. [...] This thing you treasure, this thing nobody else wants, could also be…” quote by Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2e2/jane-lotter-39539_attachment_tully-starts-in-again-see-the-hidden-val_642666.jpg)
