Quote by House MD

House: I assume 'minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying no chance in hell. Chase: I'm Australian. House: You…

— House MD

Clinic Patient: I wasn't trying to off myself. House: No, you were trying to kill the wall.

— House MD

Cuddy: Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic? House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog *yips*

— House MD

Lydia: And who's going to carry you when you're carrying the cello? House: Yes, cast aside the useless cripple. How very German of you.

— House MD

House: Truth begins in lies.

— House MD

Cameron: You can't diagnose that without a biopsy. House: Yes, we can, we treat it. If she gets better we know that we're right.…

— House MD

Wilson: If you need to talk, if you need more help, I'm right here. House: Great. Can you be 'right here' somewhere else?

— House MD

“You're on a plane! We're all on planes. Life is dangerous and complicated and... it's a long way down.”

— House MD

Michael Tritter: Merry Christmas House: And a Happy Go-to-Hell.

— House MD

Cameron: Could pain medication cause an orgasm? House: I wish.

— House MD

Cuddy to House: l'll be on your couch with a shotgun, in case you try to make a limp for the border.

— House MD

Team: We've got rectal bleeding. House: What, all of you?

— House MD