Child Quote by Hilary Flower
““Society tried to teach me that children are by nature selfish, out-of-control, and demanding, that their goal is power and that they are always trying to see how much they can get away with, that you can't let children manipulate you or become too dependant, and that disobedience equals disrespect. As a mother, I have come to believe strongly that my child's primary goals are having his needs met, feeling connected to others, and feeling self-worth. His misbehavior is an attempt to get a need met or to feel significance and connection, done in an appropriate way… my job as a parent is to help my child identify and meet those needs in appropriate ways." - Lisa S.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Parenting Reflections, 2022
Children seek connection, met, and self‑worth; misbehavior signals unmet needs, not inherent selfishness.
In simple terms: Kids want love, respect, and purpose, not power.
Key Takeaway
Address needs, not punish.
Themes
parenting
child development
needs
behavior
connection
Mood
empathetic
reflective
Type
advice
insightful
When to use this quote
- family meals
- school conflicts
- therapy sessions
- discipline strategies
Key Concepts
psychology
attachment theory
motivation
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you differentiate need‑based misbehavior from other causes?
- What strategies help children express needs constructively?
A Different Perspective
Assuming all misbehavior is need‑based may overlook other factors.
