Opened Mouths Quote by Harville Hendrix
““When we were babies, we didn’t smile sweetly at our mothers to get them to take care of us. We didn’t pinpoint our discomfort by putting it into words. We simply opened our mouths and screamed. And it didn’t take us long to learn that, the louder we screamed, the quicker they came. The success of this tactic was turned into an “imprint,” a part of our stored memory about how to get the world to respond to our needs: “When you are frustrated, provoke the people around you.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, 1988
Early cries teach us that louder demands get quicker responses, shaping a habit of provoking others when frustrated.
In simple terms: Loud demands get quick help.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and replace reactive patterns.
Themes
psychology
communication
relationships
Mood
reflective
empathetic
Type
self‑help
relationship
When to use this quote
- parent‑child interactions
- workplace conflicts
- personal stress management
Key Concepts
attachment theory
behavioral conditioning
emotional regulation
Questions to Reflect On
- What triggers your need to provoke?
- How can you express needs calmly?
A Different Perspective
May not apply when others are unresponsive or supportive.
