““My favorite was about a boy and girl arguing in a car about the morality of peeing in a McDonald’s without buying anything. Jill: But if I use the bathroom without buying something, it’s stealing! Robert: One flush is not equivalent to armed robbery. Jill: Fine! I’ll be right back. Jill grabs her purse and reaches for the door. Robert: Why are you taking your purse? Jill: I need it . . . for feminine things. Robert: You’re going to buy something, aren’t you? Jill: No, I’m not . . . Jill tries to get out. Robert grabs her purse. Robert: Give me the purse. Jill: Stop it, Robert! Robert: You’re not going to buy something. Jill: Just one apple pie; I didn’t have dessert! Robert: Be a man! Or grow another valve! Jill: I don’t know what that means! (For the record, I still will not pee somewhere without at least buying a dip cone.) I wasn’t the best writer in class, but I wasn’t the worst, and I enjoyed myself.””