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Better person Quote by Donald Miller

“One of the best conversations I ever had with Betsy happened when I asked why she thought I was good for her. I’d been wondering about it for a long time but I’d never brought it up. I could count the ways she was good for me, but had no idea why I was good for her. We were walking Lucy up near…” quote by Donald Miller
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““One of the best conversations I ever had with Betsy happened when I asked why she thought I was good for her. I’d been wondering about it for a long time but I’d never brought it up. I could count the ways she was good for me, but had no idea why I was good for her. We were walking Lucy up near the Capitol when I asked. She laughed for a second. “Are you serious?” she asked. “You really don’t know?” “I don’t think I know,” I said. I’m glad I finally asked the question. Betsy’s answer changed me. She helped me believe I wasn’t just good for people, I was great for them. She said I had a way of not getting rattled when things were tense and that brought peace to her life. She said I loved adventure and without me her life wouldn’t be half as exciting. She said ever since we’d started dating she’d stopped doubting whether she was beautiful because I told her she was beautiful every day. She went on and on and talked about all the ways I was making her a better person. Not long after that conversation I found I enjoyed getting together with people a great deal more. Whereas before I’d endure having to get coffee with people, I began to enjoy sharing a bit of our stories. I realized that one of the reasons I’d been so isolated was because I’d subconsciously believed I wasn’t all that good for people. It’s true what I’m saying. If our identity gets broken, it affects our ability to connect. And I wonder if we’re not all a lot better for each other than we previously thought. I know we’re not perfect, but I wonder how many people are withholding the love they could provide because they secretly believe they have fatal flaws.””

Donald Miller

About This Quote

Source Book: Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, 2003

Recognizing how others see us can reshape our self‑image and improve relationships, revealing mutual value beyond perceived flaws.

In simple terms: Seeing how others value you boosts confidence and connection.

Key Takeaway

Ask others what you mean to them.

Themes

self‑esteem relationships identity growth

Mood

reflective hopeful inspirational

Type

personal development relationship insight

When to use this quote

  • dating
  • friendship
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • therapy

Key Concepts

self‑concept social perception mutual benefit

Questions to Reflect On

  • How does hearing positive feedback change your behavior?
  • What can you do to affirm others without seeking praise?
A Different Perspective

If you rely solely on external validation, you may ignore internal growth.

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