Approach Quote by Deborah Tannen
“The argument culture urges us to approach the world - and the people in it - in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as 'both sides'; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to attack someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize.”
About This Quote
Source Book: The Argument Culture by Deborah Tannen, 1998
The quote critiques a societal tendency to frame interactions as battles, assuming conflict drives progress, which limits understanding and collaboration.
In simple terms: People often treat discussions as fights, believing conflict solves problems.
Key Takeaway
Seek dialogue over debate.
Themes
communication
conflict
society
media
law
Mood
critical
reflective
concerned
Type
analytical
philosophical
social commentary
When to use this quote
- newsrooms
- courtrooms
- classrooms
- online forums
- political debates
Key Concepts
polarization
adversarial framing
dialogue
collaboration
Questions to Reflect On
- How might you reframe a contentious issue into a collaborative problem?
- What are the costs of always choosing the adversarial approach?
A Different Perspective
Not all issues benefit from confrontation; some require empathy and shared goals.
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