Fear Quote by David Foster Wallace
““But Don you're still a human being, you still want to live, you crave connection and society, you know intellectually that you're no less worthy of connection and society than anyone else simply because of how you appear, you know that hiding yourself away out of fear of gazes is really giving in to a shame that is not required and that will keep you from the kind of life you deserve as much as the next girl, you know that you can't help how you look but that you are supposed to be able to help how much you care about how you look. You're supposed to be strong enough to exert some control over how much you want to hide, and you're so desperate to feel some kind of control that you settle for the appearance of control." "Your voice gets different when you talk about this—" "What you do is you hide your deep need to hide, and you do this out of the need to appear to other people as if you have the strength not to care how you appear to others. You stick your hideous face right in there into the wine-tasting crowd's visual meatgrinder, you smile so wide it hurts and put out your hand and are extra gregarious and outgoing and exert yourself to appear totally unaware of the facial struggles of people who are trying not to wince or stare or give away the fact that they can see that you're hideously, improbably deformed. You feign acceptance of your deformity. You take your desire to hide and conceal it under a mask of acceptance." "Use less words.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace, 1996
The passage explores how people with visible differences often conceal themselves to avoid judgment, yet this self‑shaming limits authentic living and true connection.
In simple terms: People hide their appearance to avoid judgment, which blocks genuine life.
Embrace authenticity over fear of appearance.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- social gatherings
- online dating
- workplace interactions
- public speaking
- therapy sessions
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How does hiding affect your sense of self?
- What steps can foster genuine acceptance?
The advice may oversimplify complex psychological trauma and societal bias.