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Anxiety Quote by Colette Dowling

“(...) performance anxiety [in the worplace] is connected to other, more general fears which have to do with feeling inadequate and defenseless in the world: the fear of retaliation from someone with whom one disagrees; the fear of being critisized for doing something wrong; the fear of saying…” quote by Colette Dowling
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““(...) performance anxiety [in the worplace] is connected to other, more general fears which have to do with feeling inadequate and defenseless in the world: the fear of retaliation from someone with whom one disagrees; the fear of being critisized for doing something wrong; the fear of saying "no"; the fear of stating one's needs clearly and directly, without manipulating. These are the kinds of fears that affect women in particular, because we were brought up to believe that taking care of ourselves, asserting ourselves, is unfeminine. We wish (...) to feel attractive to men: non-threatening, sweet, "feminine". This wish crimps the joy and productiveness with which women could be leading their lives.””

Colette Dowling

About This Quote

Source Book: “The Dance of Fear” by Colette Dowling, 1995

Workplace anxiety stems from deep‑seated fears of inadequacy, retaliation, and violating gender expectations, limiting women’s assertiveness and joy.

In simple terms: Women fear speaking up due to learned gender norms.

Key Takeaway

Challenge limiting gender expectations.

Themes

gender anxiety assertiveness social conditioning

Mood

determined concerned

Type

motivational analytical

When to use this quote

  • career meetings
  • negotiations
  • personal boundaries

Key Concepts

feminist theory psychology

Questions to Reflect On

  • What fear holds you back from saying “no”?
  • How can workplaces support authentic self‑expression?
A Different Perspective

Changing internal beliefs may not instantly alter external power structures.

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