Anxiety Quote by Colette Dowling
““(...) performance anxiety [in the worplace] is connected to other, more general fears which have to do with feeling inadequate and defenseless in the world: the fear of retaliation from someone with whom one disagrees; the fear of being critisized for doing something wrong; the fear of saying "no"; the fear of stating one's needs clearly and directly, without manipulating. These are the kinds of fears that affect women in particular, because we were brought up to believe that taking care of ourselves, asserting ourselves, is unfeminine. We wish (...) to feel attractive to men: non-threatening, sweet, "feminine". This wish crimps the joy and productiveness with which women could be leading their lives.””
About This Quote
Source Book: “The Dance of Fear” by Colette Dowling, 1995
Workplace anxiety stems from deep‑seated fears of inadequacy, retaliation, and violating gender expectations, limiting women’s assertiveness and joy.
In simple terms: Women fear speaking up due to learned gender norms.
Challenge limiting gender expectations.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- career meetings
- negotiations
- personal boundaries
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- What fear holds you back from saying “no”?
- How can workplaces support authentic self‑expression?
Changing internal beliefs may not instantly alter external power structures.