Cinderella-complex Quote by Colette Dowling
““Given our socialization into dependency, women are also poor risk takers. (...) We avoid new situations, job changes, moves to different parts of the country. Women are afraid that if they should make a mistake, or do "the wrong thing", they'll be punished. Women are less confident than men in their ability to make judgments, and in relationships will often hand over the decision-making duties to their mates, a situation which only ensures that they will become less confident in their powers of judgment as time goes by. Most shockingly of all, women are less likely than men to fulfill their intellectual potential. (...) In fact, as women proceed into adulthood, they get lower and lower scores on "total intelligence", owing to the fact that they tend to use their intelligence less and less the longer they're away from school. Other studies show that the intellect's ability to function may actually be impaired by dependent personality traits. (...) Confidence and self-esteem are primary issues in women's difficulties with achievement. Lack of confidence leads us into the dark waters of envy. (...) envy must be recognized, seen , and fully comprehended; it can too easily be used as a cover-up for something that is far mroe crucial to women's independence - our own inner feelings of incompetence. These must be dealt with - directly - if we are ever to achieve confidence and strength.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Woman Who Sings, Colette Dowling, 1990
Women often internalize dependency, leading to reduced risk‑taking, confidence, and intellectual engagement over time.
In simple terms: Dependency lowers women’s confidence and use of intellect.
Build confidence and challenge dependency.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- career advancement
- education
- personal development
- relationship dynamics
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How can women rebuild confidence after long dependency?
- What societal changes support women’s intellectual growth?
Confidence alone may not overcome structural barriers; societal expectations also limit women.