Be nice Quote by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
““(Young girls) are taught to not see, and instead to "make pretty" all manner of grotesqueries whether they are lovely or not. This training is why the youngest sister can say, "Hmmm, his beard isn't really that blue." This early training to "be nice" causes women to override their intuitions. In that sense, they are actually purposefully taught to submit to the predator. Imagine a wolf mother teaching her young to "be nice" in the face of an angry ferret or a wily diamondback rattler.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, 1992
Girls are taught to suppress intuition and be pleasant, which conditions them to tolerate predatory behavior and ignore harmful cues.
In simple terms: Girls learn to be nice, ignoring warning signs.
Key Takeaway
Teach intuition and assertiveness early.
Themes
gender social
social conditioning
predation
Mood
cautionary
empowering
Type
analytical
inspirational
When to use this quote
- parenting
- education
- workplace
- media representation
Key Concepts
psychology
feminist theory
mythic archetypes
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we balance kindness with self‑protection?
- What early lessons empower women to trust instincts?
A Different Perspective
Overemphasis on niceness can silence legitimate self‑advocacy.
