Conflicting emotions Quote by Catherine Anderson

““You will eat”--unmistakable laughter played upon his face--“so you will stay strong. We cannot fight the big fight if you tremble from hunger.” Loretta lowered her gaze. A rush of conflicting emotions assailed her. She detested this man. She shouldn’t care if he didn’t get enough to eat or feel in the least guilty for having wasted his stupid meat. Yet she did. And for the life of her, she couldn’t accept part of his meager portion only to toss it away. She hated herself for that and hated him for eliciting such traitorous feelings within her. When she didn’t take the meat, he hunkered next to her. Why wouldn’t he leave her be? She was so tired, so awfully, horribly tired. Tired of being afraid. Tired of fighting him. Tired of fighting herself. “ Hein ein mah-su-ite , what do you want?” he asked in a low voice. “The little rabbit is good. The tosi tivo , white men, eat rabbit, do they not?” Loretta kept her face averted. He sighed. “Blue Eyes, you will see into me, eh?” Because he was still holding the two pieces of meat, he didn’t have a free hand and nudged her shoulder with his forearm. “ Nabone , look.” For the first time, she detected a note of entreaty in his voice, scarcely recognizable under his martial arrogance, but there. When she looked up, his eyes caught and held hers. After a long moment he said, “You are to-ho-ba-ka , the enemy. That is so, eh? Tosi mah-ocu-ah , a white woman? And I am the enemy to your people, a Te-j-as , a Comanche.” He held his arm out in front of him, his forearm waist high and horizontal, and made a writhing motion around to his side. “Snakes Who Come Back, eh?” His mouth tipped into a grin that transformed his face. For a moment he not only looked human, but handsome. “You like that, eh? Comanche and snakes, all the same?” The grin set her off balance, and again she averted her face. He shoved a piece of the meat under her nose. “The rabbit, he is not to-ho-ba-ka , the enemy. He is tao-yo-cha , a child of Mother Earth, eh? You can eat him. It is not surrender when we eat the gifts of Mother Earth.””

— Catherine Anderson