Undertaker Quotes

50 quotes by 42 authors

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other. — W.C. Fields
APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider — Ambrose Bierce
BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. — Ambrose Bierce
Paradoxically, I have found peace because I have always been dissatisfied. My moments of depression and despair turn out to be renewals, new beginnings. If… — Thomas Merton
They have passed the big inheritance tax, and that gets you when you are gone. You used to could die and be able to beat… — Will Rogers
Philosophy always buries its undertakers. — Etienne Gilson
Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book. — Joe Frazier
My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker. — Henry Louis Gates
So long as there is one pretty girl left on the stage, the professional undertakers may hold up their burial of the theater. — George Jean Nathan
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. — Mark Twain
There is a great supply of amateur undertakers in show business. — Ethel Waters
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight. — P.G. Wodehouse
She who pays the undertaker calls the tune. — Margaret Atwood
My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd… — Janet Evanovich
Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. — Zig Ziglar
I don't want to go into a fridge at an undertaker's. I want you to keep me at home until the funeral. Please can someone… — Jenny Downham
Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk,… — Charles Dickens
No couple buying wedding rings wants to be reminded that someday one of them will have to accept the other one's ring from a nurse… — Anne Tyler
Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of… — Florence King
The business aspects of the Fourth of July is not perfect as it stands. See what it costs us every year with loss of life,… — Mark Twain

Who Wrote These Undertaker Quotes

42 authors contributed a total of 50 Undertaker Quotes, led by these top contributors: