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- In fact, he's never taken an interest in a woman before. I was beginning to to suspect he might prefer one of… — Maria V. Snyder
- I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?"… — Henny Youngman
- Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today… — Conan O'Brien
- I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and then I got this call from a casting director in Los Angeles.… — Scott Speedman
- He called her: mother of pearl, barley woman, rice provider, millet basket, corn maid, flax princess, all-maker, weef She called him: fawn,… — Judy Grahn
- During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. — Rodney Dangerfield
- Last time I spoke to my mom she called me from a pay phone, and we didn't have the best talk. Ever… — Eric West
- When I was three, I fell and I got Bell's palsy in my face. My mom said the first day she called… — Roseanne Barr