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- Writing a first draft is like groping one's way into a dark room, or overhearing a faint conversation, or telling a joke… — Ted Solotaroff
- Real gs move in silence like lasagna. — Lil Wayne
- Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. — Larry David
- I kind of cheer the presence of any gay characters at all - I think the more we can saturate television with… — Jesse Tyler Ferguson
- Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be… — Leslie Nielsen
- I think my speeches are hilarious. I think I'm a natural comedian, but I like denying people the chance to laugh. I… — Lydia Lunch
- One of my favourite things about country music is that, at least until recently, you could always count on a solid story,… — St. Vincent
- Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if… — Matt Groening