Parenting Quotes

853 quotes by 584 authors

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. — Joan Rivers
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It… — Joan Rivers
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be… — Joan Rivers
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. — Will Rogers
My mom and dad gave their kids the greatest gift of all - the gift of unconditional love. They cared deeply about who we would… — Mitt Romney
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from… — Theodore Roosevelt
To endure is the first thing that a child ought to learn, and that which he will have the most need to know. — Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. — Rita Rudner
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin… — Rita Rudner
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't… — Rita Rudner
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. — Bertrand Russell
Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so… — Virginia Satir
What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting. — Virginia Satir
Children are our second chance to have a great parent-child relationship. — Laura Schlessinger
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. — Jerry Seinfeld
It is a wise father that knows his own child. — William Shakespeare
We expect teachers to handle teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, and the failings of the family. Then we expect them to educate our children. — John Sculley
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. — Jerry Seinfeld
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. — George Bernard Shaw
Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children. — George Bernard Shaw

Who Wrote These Parenting Quotes

584 authors contributed a total of 853 Parenting Quotes, led by these top contributors: