One Liner Quotes

61 One Liner quotes by 37 unique authors

Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless. — Bob Hope
Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days… — Bob Hope
If horses had controlled investment decisions, there would have been no auto industry. — Warren Buffett
There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures. — Warren Buffett
He must never forget Charlie's plea: Tell me where I'm going to die, so I'll never go there. — Warren Buffett
I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence. — Robin Williams
The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that. — Robin Williams
Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. — Robin Williams
The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. — Richard Bach
I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough? — Tom Clancy
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Peter Kay
Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners. — Camille Paglia
What a shame to be so afraid of failure that you stop living. My wife has a great one-liner about failure: "Never consider yourself a… — Bernie Siegel
President Reagan's one-liners were terrific. — Geraldine Ferraro
I think you often say more by saying less. And interestingly enough, I mean, Jesus really set the standard. I mean, he could say more… — Mark Batterson
I'm no good at the one-liner thing. It's just not me. — Jamie Bell
No, and in fact I get a bit frustrated, because I'm actually quite good at one-liners, and I've had hundreds of them over the years,… — Vince Cable
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners,… — George Carlin
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. — Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. — Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. — Bob Hope
I became a specialist at comedic one-liners. — Lauren Hutton
On this Veterans Day, let us remember the service of our veterans, and let us renew our national promise to fulfill our sacred obligations to… — Dan Lipinski
The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude. — Jeff Miller
Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. — Arthur Smith

Who Wrote These One Liner Quotes

37 authors contributed a total of 61 One Liner Quotes, led by these top contributors: