One Liner Quotes
61 One Liner quotes by 37 unique authors
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
— Bob Hope
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days…
— Bob Hope
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If horses had controlled investment decisions, there would have been no auto industry.
— Warren Buffett
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There are certain things that cannot be adequately explained to a virgin either by words or pictures.
— Warren Buffett
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He must never forget Charlie's plea: Tell me where I'm going to die, so I'll never go there.
— Warren Buffett
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I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.
— Robin Williams
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The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.
— Robin Williams
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Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.
— Robin Williams
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The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.
— Richard Bach
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I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?
— Tom Clancy
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
— Peter Kay
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Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.
— Camille Paglia
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What a shame to be so afraid of failure that you stop living. My wife has a great one-liner about failure: "Never consider yourself a…
— Bernie Siegel
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President Reagan's one-liners were terrific.
— Geraldine Ferraro
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I think you often say more by saying less. And interestingly enough, I mean, Jesus really set the standard. I mean, he could say more…
— Mark Batterson
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I'm no good at the one-liner thing. It's just not me.
— Jamie Bell
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No, and in fact I get a bit frustrated, because I'm actually quite good at one-liners, and I've had hundreds of them over the years,…
— Vince Cable
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners,…
— George Carlin
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I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
— Bob Hope
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
— Bob Hope
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I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
— Bob Hope
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I became a specialist at comedic one-liners.
— Lauren Hutton
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On this Veterans Day, let us remember the service of our veterans, and let us renew our national promise to fulfill our sacred obligations to…
— Dan Lipinski
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The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.
— Jeff Miller
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Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.
— Arthur Smith
Who Wrote These One Liner Quotes
37 authors contributed a total of 61 One Liner Quotes, led by these top contributors: