My Tweets Quotes

14 quotes by 4 authors

• I compose most of my tweets with care, as if they were aphorisms - they are not usually dashed-off. Sometimes I'm surprised by the high,… — Joyce Carol Oates
• Anytime people read my tweets, they hear it in Auto-Tune. — T-Pain
• This girl keeps starring my tweets and I keep starring her tweets but we never follow each other, are we married now? — Nikhil Saluja
• Some of you unfollowed me for being childish and now my tweets will be RTed on your timeline. HAHAHAHAHA!! *sticks tongue out* — Nikhil Saluja
• You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them. — Green Monk
• I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist. — Nikhil Saluja
• My boss fired me from job today. Unfortunately I need you to impress our clients never means making jokes about them on my tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
• I like my sex like I like my tweets, Forced and meaningless. — Nikhil Saluja
• My tweets are my moods, they're not up for a fucking debate. — Nikhil Saluja
• For those who were offended by my tweets; fuck you. — Nikhil Saluja
• I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets? — Nikhil Saluja
• Sometimes I get the feeling that you guys aren't thinking about my tweets all the time. — Nikhil Saluja
• If any of my tweets offend you, let me know so I can block you. — Nikhil Saluja
• I often wonder how my tweets are going to sound when read aloud at my future divorce hearing. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These My Tweets Quotes

4 authors contributed a total of 14 My Tweets Quotes as follows:

• 11 My Tweets Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
• 1 My Tweets Quote by T-Pain
• 1 My Tweets Quote by Green Monk
• 1 My Tweets Quote by Joyce Carol Oates