My Jokes Quotes

35 quotes by 33 authors

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. — Drew Carey
I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk… — Dave Chappelle
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true. — Jimmy Carr
You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go… — Jamie Foxx
Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish. — Frank Carson
All of my jokes were about not being able to meet anybody. I didn't have any insight into anything - even my own insecurities. — Judd Apatow
If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had always laughed at… — Gabourey Sidibe
I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one of my jokes.… — Rebecca De Mornay
I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes. — Stephen Colbert
I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I… — Dave Attell
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are… — Zach Galifianakis
Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy. — Joel McHale
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or… — Will Rogers
I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a… — Sam Kinison
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are… — Emo Philips
I am edgy, raw, offensive, vulgar, untruthful, but intelligent. My jokes are always realistic. I do not make fun of children or people who cannot… — Vir Das
I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. — John Oliver
Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect… — Fyodor Dostoevsky
He loved me. He'd loved me as long as he he'd known me! I hadn't loved him as long perhaps, but now I loved him… — Gail Carson Levine
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along… — Demetri Martin

Who Wrote These My Jokes Quotes

33 authors contributed a total of 35 My Jokes Quotes, led by these top contributors: