Best I Bet Quotes

372 I Bet quotes by 258 unique authors

Of course, the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by… — Dave Barry
Aren't the stars beautiful? Thousands of them twinkling so far from us, yet so near. Who knows what it's like in the universe where they… — Shelina Zahra Janmohamed
I bet the human brain is a kludge — Marvin Minsky
I don't like going out that much. I'm kind of an old lady. After it's 11, I'm like, 'Don't these kids ever get tired?' When… — Jennifer Lawrence
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never… — Boris Johnson
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those really high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals. — Jack Handey
Some days I make 20 bets. Some days, I make none…so I wait, plan, marshal my resources. And when I finally see an opportunity and… — Arnold Rothstein
I bet some of you feel sorry for me. Well don't. Having an artificial leg has its advantages. I've broken my right knee many times… — Terry Fox
Just like a spider with a line of silk! Did you ever see them throw themselves out into space to weave? They're taking a chance,… — Olivia Goldsmith
I dont like Jews. Or colored folk. Or natives, now that you mention it...I bet you like Catholics. Cant stand them either. Nor women, Fabians,… — Herbert
There is a velvety sensuality here at the mouth of the Mississippi that you won't find anywhere else. Tell me what the air feels like… — Andrei Codrescu
Love itself is obvious.You meet, love, part ways, get hurt and you meet again. I bet people get married because they’re tired of repeating those… — Kim A-joong
I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet… — Zach Braff
I'll have to put more earrings on. I bet that someone could analyze me and tell my condition by my earrings. — Edie Sedgwick
I bet you there's a lot of guys who dream of having a girl that fine. — Brett Hull
I bet him he wouldn't get 15 league goals and I'm going to have to change my bet with him. If he gets to 15… — Alex Ferguson
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. — Jack Handey
Except I think it feels more like an empty stomach than a broken heart. An aching hollowness that food can't cure. You know. You've felt… — Richard Laymon
You're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you. — Carly Simon
Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because… — Jack Handey
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in… — Jack Handey
If you're an archeologist, I bet it's real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns… — Jack Handey
I bet if you were a mummy wrapper in ancient Egypt, on thing you would constantly find yourself telling people would be, "Be sure, before… — Jack Handey
I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF! — Jack Handey
If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort… — Jack Handey

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