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Hilarious Quotes by Emo Phillips
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- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown… — Christian Bale
- I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. — Douglas Adams
- It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. — Dave Barry
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. — Dave Barry
- Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick. — Samuel Beckett
- Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. — George Ade
- I find the female tragedy of insecurity to be hilarious. We get obsessed over issues like the tiny skin tags on our… — Lake Bell
- If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? — Milton Berle
- Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. — Yogi Berra
- You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. — Yogi Berra