Best Funny Retirement Quotes

38 Funny Retirement quotes by 36 unique authors

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. — Charles Lamb
Something pretty... that's just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don't worry about it. — Jeanne Moreau
You need some insecurity if you're an actor. It keeps the pot boiling. I haven't yet started to think about retiring. I was shocked when… — Al Pacino
Woman and men of retiring timidity are cowardly only in dangers which affect themselves, but the first to rescue when others are in danger. — Jean Paul
Once I retire, I'm retiring. I'm done. — Michael Phelps
I'm moving on. I should have made that clear when I made the announcement. I guess I wasn't clear. If people think you're leaving a… — Regis Philbin
Let's get a couple of things straight. It hasn't been years and years since I made a movie. I'm not coming back from the dead… — Julia Roberts
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. — Rita Rudner
For me retiring wasn't hard once I knew that that was the decision I was going to make. — Gabriela Sabatini
People think retiring is fun. Well, maybe, but if you have a certain kind of fire inside, there is no end in sight. — Sylvester Stallone
Why retire from something if you're loving it so much and enjoying it so much, and you're blessed with another group of people to work… — Betty White
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. — Douglas Adams
but one loses, as one grows older, something of the lightness of one's dreams; one begins to take life up in both hands, and to… — William Butler Yeats

Who Wrote These Funny Retirement Quotes

36 authors contributed a total of 38 Funny Retirement Quotes, led by these top contributors: