Funny Retirement Quotes

38 quotes by 36 authors

Never get out of bed before noon. — Charles Bukowski
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. — George Burns
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. — George Burns
I have to struggle to change people's perceptions of me. I grew very frustrated with the perception that I'm this shy, retiring, inhibited aristocratic creature… — Helena Bonham Carter
Sanders was a friend of chickens. — Charles Taylor Manatt
Men in the uniform of Wall Street retirement: black Chesterfield coat, rimless glasses and the Times folded to the obituary page.. — Jimmy Breslin
Although it may not be a castle, [it is the] functional equivalent of a hotel room, a vacation and retirement home or a hunting and… — John Paul Stevens
For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things. — John Sharp Williams
The appearance and retirement of actors are the great events of the theatrical world; and their first performances fill the pit with conjecture and prognostication,… — Samuel Johnson
The only true retirement is that of the heart; the only true leisure is the repose of the passions. To such persons it makes little… — William Hazlitt
We need to tap the resource of current and retiring science and math professionals that have both content mastery and the practical experience to serve… — Cathy McMorris Rodgers
There is this idea that appealing to youth is the only way forward. But that is no longer the case. Youth is not everything. Now… — Julie Walters
It's too many questions about what I'm going to do, why I'm retiring, and this and that. So I answer the same question, I don't… — Marat Safin
When I was younger, I thought about retiring. — Tanya Tucker
No, because retiring is stopping. If I wanted to stop, I would have stopped. — Thierry Henry
Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich, and healthy. But then, under those circumstances, work is great too. — Bill Vaughan
I have made noise enough in the world already, perhaps too much, and am now getting old, and want retirement. — Napoleon Bonaparte
I'm retiring the Mos Def name after 2011. I'm actually doing it. — Mos Def
There was no last animal I treated. When young farm lads started to help me over the gate into a field or a pigpen, to… — James Herriot
Every time I try to retire, or even think of retiring from acting, my agent comes up with a script. — Anthony Hopkins

Who Wrote These Funny Retirement Quotes

36 authors contributed a total of 38 Funny Retirement Quotes, led by these top contributors: