Best Funny Love Words
179 Funny Love quotes by 135 unique authors
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In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
— Helen Rowland
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
— Rita Rudner
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
— Rita Rudner
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Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
— Charles M. Schulz
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I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
— Garry Shandling
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The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
— George Bernard Shaw
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Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
— Fulton J. Sheen
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I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.
— Anna Nicole Smith
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A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
— Gloria Steinem
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A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
— Adlai E. Stevenson
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
— Lily Tomlin
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Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.
— Anthony Trollope
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In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
— Francois Truffaut
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
— Lana Turner
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Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
— Leonardo da Vinci
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Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
— Mae West
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Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
— Mae West
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True friends stab you in the front.
— Oscar Wilde
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
— Henny Youngman
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little…
— Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,…
— Henny Youngman
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
— Henny Youngman
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer;…
— Woody Allen
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It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.
— Joan Rivers
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The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're…
— Rumi
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Who Wrote These Funny Love Quotes
135 authors contributed a total of 179 Funny Love Quotes, led by these top contributors: