Funny Friend Quotes

77 quotes by 69 authors

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years. — Richard Bach
When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative. — Francis Bacon
A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative. — George Ade
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. — Samuel Butler
A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends. — Samuel Butler
Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really… — Truman Capote
The world is round so that friendship may encircle it. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend. — Agatha Christie
I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other.… — Jeff Foxworthy
I just killed my best friend... and my worst enemy. What's the difference? — Christian Slater
Why would anybody want a friend? — Jerry Seinfeld
It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his… — Jerry Seinfeld
There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our… — Bing Crosby
When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare… — Alice Duer Miller
I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you. — Ann Richards
You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time. — Brian Andreas
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people" — Andy Borowitz

Who Wrote These Funny Friend Quotes

69 authors contributed a total of 77 Funny Friend Quotes, led by these top contributors: