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- Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. — Isaac Asimov
- Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just… — Dave Attell
- A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
- It is time to get drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk without stopping!… — Charles Baudelaire
- I don't drink. I choose to be sober now. I have drunk over the last six years, but I just don't want… — Chester Bennington
- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. — Ambrose Bierce
- Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. — Ambrose Bierce
- A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good… — Jim Bishop
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. — Humphrey Bogart
- You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. — Ray Bradbury
- Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift... The hangover comes the day after. — Joyce Brothers
- We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar. — Charles Bukowski