Clean Underwear Quotes by Jacob M. Appel

More Quotes by Jacob M. Appel

Jacob M. Appel has 23 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.
• Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness…
• Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.
• Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.
• This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but…
• I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....
• Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.
• Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.
• If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....
• I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause....
• A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim…
• Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.

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