Bartender Quotes

77 quotes by 65 authors

A cocktail can be made by the bartender. But the cocktail also can be made by the chef. — Jose Andres Puerta
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he… — Troublemaker
A guy walks into a bar* he sits down and sighs. the bartender walks over and asks him long day the man laughs and realizes… — She's_gone
Comic Sans walked into a bar. The bartender frowned and said, We don't serve your type here. — Green Monk
I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to… — John Lee Hooker
Bartender, please fill my glass for me with the wine you gave Jesus that set him free after three days in the ground. — Simon And Garfunkel
I wanted something that would remind everyone of me, so they mixed their most popular liquor with their sweetest. The bartender did name it a… — Brooke Davis
Darald: What's the state fish of Hawaii? Dwayne the Bartender: The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. Yeah, bitch — Forgetting Sarah Marshall
He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend... mid-blowjob. You know how hard that is for a man? It's called blue balls. He's like… — Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Peter Bretter: Hi, can I have another Bloody Mary, please? Female Bartender: You're still working on that one. Peter Bretter: It's an anticipatory order. — Forgetting Sarah Marshall
You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama. -Ben Stone [to bartender] — Knocked Up (The Movie)
Bartender: You know, times are changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you're going to learn how to deal with it. Ron Burgundy: What? Were… — Anchorman
You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis
There's a bar on top of a really, really high building and it's very windy outside, so it is swaying back and forth. A guy… — SUPERMAN
Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you. — Ritu Ghatourey
Wife treats hubby (Jim) on his birthday by taking him to a strip club. At the club: Doorman: Hey Jim! how are you? Wife: how… — Zhat*
Dreamlands Golden Goose! Fragrance-free! Vodka me! Goose it up, baby! Mouth-watering! Condensed, purify, extracted, for the world to see. LET IT BE! International! Coast to… — Javaz

Who Wrote These Bartender Quotes

65 authors contributed a total of 77 Bartender Quotes, led by these top contributors: