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Stewart Francis has 12 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."
• My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
• I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice.
• Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me
• I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was…
• So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world.
• You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.
• I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
• My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people.
• Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have…
• I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice
• Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down.

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