All Stewart Francis Quotes
- My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic." Alcoholic
- My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. Inspirational
- I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice. Factories
- Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me Closer
- I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified Afriad
- So what if I cant spell Armageddon, its not the end of the world. Armageddon
- You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks. Bad
- I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! Documentaries
- My father is schizophrenia, but he's good people. Father
- Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived. Allyson
- I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice Afterall
- Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down. Climbing