““There was silence and a new recognition of a perpetually searching quality within me that I had never fully acknowledged. That was it, wasn’t it? The thing that made it so difficult for me not to pick at the edges, the inability to let things be, to replace one anxiety with a new one as soon as the first one abated, to resist comforting platitudes like “Everything happens for a reason,” to ask the unanswerable “What if?’ ” and ‘Why?’ over and over again, even on the sunniest of days. That was what made me not be able to let go of the unfairness of what had happened to Ashley. That was who””
