Age Quote by Blanche Wiesen Cook
“Well, the reality of her father was that he was a very diseased alcoholic, who died at the age of 34. And one always has to pause to wonder how much you have to drink to die at 34. And he was a really tragic father. I mean, he was absolutely unreliable. He was absolutely involved with various people. He had outside families, outside children, outside wives. He made his wife's life miserable. And she [Eleanor Roosevelt]ignored all of his faults and retained this sense of him as the perfect father.”
About This Quote
Source Book: Eleanor Roosevelt, a Biography by Blanche Wiesen Cook, 1995
A daughter can idealize a deeply flawed parent, overlooking serious faults because of love or hope.
In simple terms: Children may idealize abusive parents.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and confront harmful idealizations.
Themes
family
illusion
abuse
loyalty
Mood
sad
reflective
Type
narrative
psychological
When to use this quote
- parental relationships
- therapy
- self‑reflection
- generational trauma
Key Concepts
psychology
attachment
denial
Questions to Reflect On
- How does idealizing a parent affect personal growth?
- What steps can break the cycle of denial?
A Different Perspective
Idealization can prevent healing and perpetuate cycles of abuse.
![“Her [Eleanor Roosevelt] father was the love of her life. Her father always made her feel wanted, made her feel loved, where her mother made her feel, you know, unloved, judged harshly, never up to par. And she was her father's favorite, and her mother's unfavorite. So her father was the man that…” quote by Blanche Wiesen Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8aa/blanche-wiesen-cook-13340_comfort_her-eleanor-roosevelt-father-was-the-lov_1830090.jpg)
![“But it's also the beginning of another level of liberation for her]Eleanor Roosevelt], because when she returns to New York, she gets very involved in a new level of politics. She meets Esther Lape and Elizabeth Read, and becomes very involved in the women's movement, and then in the peace…” quote by Blanche Wiesen Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b22/blanche-wiesen-cook-13340_despair_but-it-s-also-the-beginning-of-another-l_701343.jpg)
![“And her [Eleanor Roosevelt] Grandmother Hall provided her really with a quite wonderful education, and a freedom that, within the framework of Tivoli (which is a framework of discipline and order) is also a very encouraging and loving one.” quote by Blanche Wiesen Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/307/blanche-wiesen-cook-13340_discipline_and-her-eleanor-roosevelt-grandmother-ha_759497.jpg)
