Roseanne Barr

Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

— Roseanne Barr

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll…

— Roseanne Barr

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

— Roseanne Barr

I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it…

— Roseanne Barr

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've…

— Roseanne Barr

I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear.

— Roseanne Barr

My husband says, 'Roseanne, don't you think we ought to talk about our sexual problems?' Like I'm gonna turn off Wheel of…

— Roseanne Barr

I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something…

— Roseanne Barr

Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the…

— Roseanne Barr

My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we…

— Roseanne Barr

Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest…

— Roseanne Barr

I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not…

— Roseanne Barr

I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the…

— Roseanne Barr

TV is a language all its own, a land of one dimensional stereotypes that destroys culture, not adds to it. TV is…

— Roseanne Barr

After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they…

— Roseanne Barr

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their…

— Roseanne Barr

You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing…

— Roseanne Barr

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me.…

— Roseanne Barr

I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs…

— Roseanne Barr

Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and…

— Roseanne Barr

I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to…

— Roseanne Barr

I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to…

— Roseanne Barr

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell a lot more to being a…

— Roseanne Barr

Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others…

— Roseanne Barr

I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody…

— Roseanne Barr

The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don't really…

— Roseanne Barr

'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you…

— Roseanne Barr

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

— Roseanne Barr

I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You…

— Roseanne Barr

I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of…

— Roseanne Barr

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own…

— Roseanne Barr

When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own…

— Roseanne Barr

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on…

— Roseanne Barr

My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something…

— Roseanne Barr

Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist…

— Roseanne Barr

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the…

— Roseanne Barr

I got, like, Diane Keaton's manager, and she was very connected; she had power. And she was like, "Your star is in…

— Roseanne Barr

Eating cookies that you bake with your grandmother is one of the greatest social steps one must experience in order to grow…

— Roseanne Barr

It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The…

— Roseanne Barr

I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't…

— Roseanne Barr